What should I know about conflict before I get married?

  1. It is going to happen.
  2. Shouting is not communicating.
  3. The things that make you mad are important issues that should be discussed as it may point to deeper wounds from earlier in your life.
  4. Never think that you are the only right one, because there are always 2 valid, but different opinions in every argument.
  5. Give each other the space to talk without interrupting.
  6. Remember!!!! You are 2 different people that differ in almost every aspect namely, personality, background, gender, experiences, and the list can go on,
  7. The fact that you allow your partner to express themselves does not mean that you need to agree.

Validating your spouse

What does it mean to validate? To make something officially acceptable or approved.

When you experience something, your experience is real, your conclusions is real and how it influences your world and the way that you see it, is also real. When someone validate everything that you experienced, they accept and approve that it is your reality. They appreciate and acknowledge your experience and it gives you a sense of worth. You are given the space to be.

In a relationship both parties have equal amounts of different experiences, conclusions and it influences the way you see many things in many different ways. That is where differences comes to the surface, and where you thought you had so much in common, now appears to be very far from the truth.

How on earth can you make this work? Who is right and who is wrong? Who should keep quiet and who should lead with an opinion?

There is an answer to this…….

Imago communication techniques teaches you the skill to validate each other and allow each other the space to be in complete fullness who you are without standing back, holding back or keeping quiet. On top of that, also appreciating your differences.

Contact me to learn more….

084 517 0183

Why should you trust me to be your relationship counsellor?

For 14 years I have found myself in a relationship where we both were unable to communicate on an intimate level. The result was that there have been little to none emotional connection and because of that we drifted apart. Unresolved issues piled up and became like a mountain between us. Our relationship reached a place where there was no turning back and that was the end.

The end of our relationship was also the beginning of the devastating stage of hurt, rejection and struggles for my children.

With regret I can say that I know how it feels to be in a relationship where I do not know how to fix it and everything I try, just isn’t enough. Worst of all, I felt ashamed of this and did not ask for help. I did not know that there really was help out there. I felt like a complete failure.

Today I find myself in a fortunate position where I found many answers and methods of how to do things differently. There is so much hope that I desperately want to share with people that find themselves in the same place that I have been.

If I can help people to find the intimate connection and love that everybody so desperately looks for, I can also prevent families being torn apart and children being hurt.

The Imago way of communication is the most effective way for couples to find a connection that is more intimate and deep than ever before. You are guided and taught how to listen and talk in such a way that both have the opportunity to find healing for the deepest wounds that still influence your relationship.

WhatsApp to book an appointment. 084 517 0184

Conflict is growth trying to happen – Harvel Hendrix

Relationships go through 3 basic stages:

  1. Being in love.
  2. Power struggle.
  3. True love and partnership.

When being in love moves to the power struggle, that is when conflict starts. The conflict stage is when you are challenged to grow and heal together. Hurts from childhood tends to surface and those hurt needs to be nourished so that healing can take place.

When you have gone through that power struggle you will experience emotional intimacy on a whole different level and that is when you experience true love and partnership that could last a lifetime.

Listen how Harvel end Helen Henrix – the founders of the Imago therapy- explain it. It is amazing to see the dynamics of their relationship and how they communicate.

The imago communication techniques is the best and most effective way of getting from stage 1 to 3 successfully.

To make an appointment call or whatsapp: 084 517 0183

Conflict needs to be resolved.

Many times when marriages ends the reason is: ” We are not compatible”. The truth is that there is space in a marriage for 2 completely opposite people. That is how balance is created. Two poles of equal weight makes the scale balance.

It is easier to avoid conflict and that leads to bult up unresolved issues. Those unresolved issues drive couples further and further apart from each other until it is too late.

The key is to learn the art of communication and learn to appreciate the differences, explore it and validate it. That is usually a very difficult skill to learn by yourself especially if your relationship is already explosive.

That is what Imago facilitators like myself specialize in, to help you achieve that.

Rick warren said the following: ” The greater your differences, the greater your potential for growth.” A mind shift is necessary; to not see your differences as a threat, but as potential for growth.

Invest in this time to watch this amazing video of Rick Warren where he talks about conflict resolution and share wonderful insights that he gained from years of experience working with couples.

How can a marriage be fulfilling?

  1. If you feel you are being listened to and really being heard.
  2. If you feel that you are “spoken” to in your love language and therefore feel loved.
  3. If you can share your most intimate thoughts with your partner and feel safe in your vulnerability.
  4. If you feel respected.
  5. Being all of the above for your partner.

That is all possible when you learn the Imago way of communication.

Call or WhatsApp Theresa for an appointment. 084 517 0183

What about my feelings?

Could the relationship with your partner be described as very reactive and always on the verge of explosion?

It could be that both parties are desperately fighting for self preservation. The subconscious thought: “If I would always give in to your needs or views I will loose myself” might be the drive behind your reactions.

If you would give in to your partner’s ways all the time, you will loose yourself. However, you will agree that the explosive relationship becomes so toxic that it is destructive and hardly bearable.

There is another way. The Imago way. The way that allow both parties their space to be who they are, with their opinions, and be loved for that. There are space for two opposite people with opposite views in one relationship.

Make and appointment and I will teach you.


084 517 0183

Drie Redes waarom Imago verhoudings berading die beste manier is om jou verhouding te red.

  1. Die kommunikasie tegniek is nie net ‘n ‘n manier om met mekaar te praat nie, maar dit leer mens om werklik te luister. Wanneer mens waarlik luister sal jy agter kom dat jy en jou maat werklik verskil in opinie, manier van dink, doen en lewe. Julle het geleer om saam te lewe en moontlik vergeet dat julle van verskillende planete afkomstig is.
  2. Die 2de mees belangrike ding van hierdie kommunikasie metode is dat dit emotionele wonde oopsluit wat reeds in jou onderbewussyn weg gebere is en waarvan jy nie bewus is nie. Omdat dit weg gebere is beteken dit nie dat dit jou nie meer beinvloed nie. Dit is die dinge wat “getrigger” word en meestal konflik veroorsaak. Wanneer julle mekaar se wonde sien en verstaan en met liefde versorg, tree genesing in.
  3. Wanneer die emotionele genesing plaas vind word dit ook moontlik om emotioneel te groeie. ‘n Mens groei die beste in ongemaklik situasies. Dit is ‘n beter manier om daarna te kyk nl: Ongemak = Groei.
    In plaas daarvan om julle verskille teen te staan en daaroor te baklei, kyk daarna soos volg. My maat is verskillend van my en ek moet uitvind hoe en hoekom, en dan by hom/haar leer.
    Al die bogenoemde is slegs moontlik as jou verhouding ‘n veilige plek is. Wanneer jy weet dat jou maat jou gaan oppas en jou nie gaan aanval of seer maak nie, kan jy veilig genoeg voel om kwesbaar te kan wees. Wanneer julle altwee kwesbaar in mekaar se teenwoordigheid kan wees sal emotionele intimiteit die gevolg wees. Dit is wat ons almal begeer.

Is the way that I show love hurting?

We all love in a certain way. That way is usually predetermined by our own language…..love language.

The happiness of your relationship is dependent of both party’s willingness to learn and grow. If you live with the idea that how you think, feel and handle life is the only right way, I can guarantee you that your partner is unhappy, feels unseen and unheard.

Both of you come from different upbringings, have different personalities (in most cases opposites) and different ways of seeing most things in life. Both of you also have different ways of showing and experiencing love.

The question then is: Is the way that I show love hurting?

If the way that you show love leaves your partner unfulfilled or rejected you are doing something wrong.

The answer to that question will be found if you start to look at your partner as if for the first time. Be inquisitive and eager to learn. listen with a curious mind. Even if you do not understand be attentive.

Listen how Danny Silk explains the love languages and learn how to love your partner so that he/she feels loved.


When you hear that you are at a state of “burnout” to the degree that you smell of smoke, you should consider that a warning sign not to ignore. The troubles of life can get too much to bear when there is pressure from all sides, even from yourself. The pressure to provide, nurture, perform, please etc. etc. etc. Single moms, or dad, or anyone can identify.


There is a place where you can be, just be….be human, be a human being….

When you enter in the presence of your Father in heaven, you enter into peace. You can come to understand that He fights for you, He is your provider, your healer, your husband your savior.

Even better, when you can learn how to enter into the rest of God. What does it mean? Andres Wommack explains the rest of God.